passion for You

when i first know You..
my heart is full of passion.. and intimacy..
i like to spend time with You..
i tell everyone about You..
i'm getting committed to You...
You are my everything...
and i put first in my life...
i believe in You and never doubt about You..
that was when i was 9, 10 years old..

as time pass by..
i forgot..or actually i din realise..
our relationship has alowly move to intimacy and commitment
and now probably left commitment...
there are so many times i have taken You for granted
there are so many times... i only find You when i need You..
When is the last time i'm passionate about You??
i don't know..

i agree what Ps. Kelly had said..
backsliding is actually very relative..
backsliding
= not necessary that you totally don't go church, don't pray
= it is actually when your relationship with God is not as close as before
or the passion and intimacy is deteriorating...

just now i was reading a post by one of the sister...
it talks about sharing gospel to those whom we love..
to those who is around us.

when i just accept You as personal Savior and Lord,
i'm all out for You. My passion is to spread the gospel to those around me.
My ambition is to serve You wherever You want me to be
I was once called to be missionary..
i still remember i share John 3:16 to my class teacher when i was standard 3
only then i know she is the teacher that is against Christianity
haha.. and yet i just go...
because i believe that is the truth and i would want all of my frens know about Him

now... sometimes it does scare me off to share gospel to my frens..
probably... as time passed, as rejection getting more...
i lost the courage... i talk less bout gospel...
i thought as long as i show good testimony, ppl will know about Him
i thought as i always pray for my frens' salvation.. one day.. they all will know and accept Him..
yes.. all this is important.. but ..
i forgot..
God said.. Go.. therefore and make disciples of all nation...
God said.. Faith without deed is dead...
God asked.. who is not ashamed of the gospel?
God asked.. would you love me enough to share my love to others?
God asked.. how far will you go for Me?? I've go all the way for you..

Lord.. i'm sorry...
i dun wan to be a Christian that is so comfort in my zone...
i dun wan just be a Christian that just read Your Word and pray,
go to church and yet without doing what You have called me to do..
i dun wan to be a Christian by name and not obeying Your command..
how can i say i love Him and He is all of my life..
when i keep disappointing Him and ignore Him at times..

*Christianity is not a religion.. it is a relationship with God*
If you dun have the relationship with God, you dun talk to Him, you dun read His word..though you still go to church.. i think you should rethink, recheck yourself as christian...
no one can say someone dun deserve to be a christian..
because all of us are sinner and we are saved by grace..
God said nothing will make Him loves you less...
is just that you have choose to stay far away from Him..

Help me Lord, grant me the passion again...
Because time is short, time is near...
i don't have the time to say.. wait.. next time.. next time only i tell of the gospel...
because i don't know whether there is still next time..
help me to be sensitive to Your voice, to be alert and have the courage to tell others about You
change me Lord..
though i know it will be not comforting..
though i know it maybe painful...
but that is my desire.. to obey You and to get back the relationship with You..
In Jesus name i pray, Amen