Zhe Yi, we will miss you always

wonder why im able to online?? im back to kl.. why?? my cousin, Zhe Yi has passed away.. on the 26th nov morning, i was still in Beruas, preparing for the activities on that day and i received a call from mom... Zhe Yi has passed away.. When i heard it, i couldn't help it but burst in tears.. i was so sad...i know i have to come back for the memorial service and the burial.. i really thank God for my team.. they are so understanding, so caring.. when i cried, Jocelyn, Mei Ling, Esther come and comfort me..including Bo Wen.. they help me arrange transport to go back to kl.. the nearest bus station dun have the bus so they took the trouble by calling 陈传道 to fetch me to Lumut and take bus there.. from Beruas to Lumut is 50mins to an hour driving.. im so grateful to them.. all the activities i in charge, i have no choice but to leave to them. im so sorry to make such havoc..

陈传道 is so nice.. she give me a treat for my lunch then fetch me to the bus station.. she waited with me.. she only leave after ensuring i was ok, in the bus safely... it is the first time i ever take bus alone.. 4 and a half hour journey.. i dare not to sleep.. trying to be awake though i still fall asleep..finally i reach kl.. and i have a lot of luggages.. take LRT back to Cempaka... so heavy.. but my heart is even heavier.. my mom fetch me home then i have to quickly bath and rush to the memorial service...

2 nights of memorial service and on the 28th nov, is the burial service.. Zhe Yi is buried at the Cheras Christian cementary, Taman Pertama.. all of us are sad.. 不舍得.. we will gonna him a lot a lot.. He is my uncle's only child, only son.. we grew up together.. we are always together among the cousins.. cant believe he went back to heaven so fast...

he actually fell sick 2 years ago.. after getting a flying colors result in PMR, he fall sick.. at first was diagnosed as TB.. then tumor.. then brain cancer.. in and out of the hospital.. seeing him go through all the therapy.. it is such a suffering journey.. he persevere through.. he had brain operation for around 10 times.. 10 times!!! he hang on to it.. i salute him.. look up to him.. he taught me to treasure life.. live life to the fullness and never give up...

the principals i learn from this incident.. treasure.. treasure whatever i have now.. time, family, frens, everything... 2ndly, stay healthy.. nothing is more important than healthiness...we will never know what happen in the next second of next minute in our lives. so treasure each and everyday and live life to the fullness.. dun take things for granted.. dun wait.. time dun wait for us.. dun say i will tell him or her i love u the next time.. dun say i will wait till the perfect timing.. there's no perfect timing.the perfect timing is now.. today... dun say im gonna do it tomolo.. dun say i will keep it touch with this person the next time.. take hold of today.. we only got one life..this also make me ponder.. life after death.. where are we going after death... do u have the assurance?? i know one day.. i will meet him in heaven...cuz Jesus guarantee that we will be in heaven if we receive Jesus in heart and confess He is our LOrd...

i very grateful to all of my frens esp church members who came and give me support and comfort.. esp thanks to Rachel.. she allow me to cry.. give me a listening ear..and also wai han.. she gives me time to be myself, give me to cry all i want... thanks to all the msgs of comfort.. 2days of memorial service actually was very busy, esp me, my sisters, and my brother.. we are consider the elder ones among cousins so we have to be in charge and help up... no time to think of it.. but on the last day... we just cant help it, but keep crying.. when we see him the last time.. our tears flow non stop.. we walked with him the last journey, following the coffin car.. cry even more.. i gonna miss him a lot.. really...

this is another funeral happen in my family.. last month is my uncle.. now is my cousin.. i really feel so sad.. but i know.. my cousin and my uncle is now in heaven.. where there is no sickness, no pain but only happiness and joy.. i believe in the gospel i preached.. however.. i think i need time to go thru this period of time..

my 20th birthday

on the 23rd nov 12am, my house was being ceroboh by 7 of my lovely friends.. agnes, wai han, mei may and wai kuan, yoon ming, kah kit and khar keong...they came with a birthday cake on hand.. they wanted to give me a surprise which they did:) just that they din realise.. wat to do.. my house got jojo (my dog) once strangers here, she will bark non stop.. when she barks, she woke my parents.. my parents woke up and tell me that my frens are here to find me.oops.. the surprise is not that surprise dy.. but i was very shock and surprise to see them at this time.. just for me.. my birthday.. im so touch and really touch.. i wont forget that moment.. i will keep in my heart... thanks for the effort u all make just for me.. words can be many.. but at this time, i just couldnt find the exact word to express how grateful im to u all for making my day so special...

this is my first birthday day cake on my birthday specially made by wai han and wai chi:) yummy.. is delicious... appreciate the heart making it..thanks

these are my lovely, sweet frens who waited till 12am and celebrate with me.. after all the surprise, we sit down in my house balcony and talk.. o... the feelings are so warm cuz like back to form 6.. chat and we still so close to each other... then 130am like that all of them go back except for agnes and wai han they stay overnight at my house.. 

is been long time that three of us, the sisters, Agnes, me and Wai Han gather together especially after form 6.. is a really great and wonderful time together..at first they let me see the video that agnes has done for me for my present.. all the video/audio/written msg from all my frens.the video is around 50 minutes that long. we chat about the process of making it.. how much effort each and everyone put in.. in this exam time.. recording.. i know is not easy.. thanks everyone.. thanks especially to agnes for making so well for me.i really like this present.. very meaningful.. very sweet... we chat until 7am( lots of things to talk).. oops.. is morning dy.. so we decided to sleep for a while before going to church service... 1030am we manage to reach church on time.. attend service.. then go for lunch.. i was in charge of the gal secondary cg today as andrea is away at kuching.. but the members are few so we decided to go for an outing.. that is.. watching movie( Madagascar2) at leisure mall.. i sent wai han and agnes back.. we have a good time fellowship together.. actually my language of love is word and time.. which they already given me.. i feel so loved.. after the movie.. is already 530pm.. i decided to go home to take a shower.. settle down all the things.. before im out again... this time is family time.. as usual we have a cake and take photo.. one of my fren ask me.. wat present my parents give me.. i answered.. birthday cake.. she said.. huh just like that.. for our family culture.. a birthday cake means a lot.. it means a lot to me too..i thank God for my family.. they are always there.. always uphold each other with love..

this cake. tiramisu coffee bought by my parents.. yummy..

my family photo

my siblings and me

when i come back again, is dy almost 11pm.. is time for me to pack for tomolo.. im going for mission trip to beruas with campus life crusade UKM for 2 weeks... this is my first time going there...wow.. im excited!!! i just want to say very sorry frens for i leave straight after my birthday and only back on 10 dec.. i wanted also to go out with u all, but after this trip ok??? this is the present i received today... got 3 books.. i like one of the book so much.. my favourite author.. hehe.. then i received CD from my cg member.. necklace from wai han, CD from mei mei,bookmark from UKM gang, bracelet by my brother,chocolate from mei may, box & beautiful clothe& stephanie CD from my beloved sister and also all cards from each and every of u.. not foggeting the touching video by all of u..thanks..i really appreciate it..

 conan cup clay by wai chi

this year birthday is very special to me.. is the first birthday starting with 2.. not only day.. i really feel so touched.. feel so loved with my family and frens around.. i have been receving sms from 12am to 12am the whole day.. i wonder.. who am i, GOD that u have blessed me with lovely ppl around that loves me, cares for me.. i wan to say thank you to all of you all for remembering my birthday and all ur present, love tat shower me.. i feel so honored to have know you all and so blessed to have u all in my life.. when i sms to thank them who has given me all these surprises, gifts... they reply me saying i worth it.. i feel so touch.. im just a nobody, u all make me somebody.. i dun worth it but u all make me worth while.. i love all of u al. this is the best birthday i ever celebrated.... may God bless all of u for u all have blessed me..MUACK!!

my last words as a teenager... bye:)

today is the last day of my teenage life.. saying goodbye to 1_ years old.. coming to 20 dy.. in fact, left around 35 minutes only:) this morning.. my sister, Mandy drive me,manda and eliza to the Mines for a chinese book fair.. i like books.. so is fun to go there..and i bought "teng jing shu" latest book.. i was so so so so happy.. more than words can tell.. this book is sponsored by eliza.. is quite expensive de lo.. thanks Eliza for the book and of cuz i requested her to sign on my precious book... then we continue to walk around.. my sisters bought somethings from there also.. and then.. our stomach command us to go makan.. so we go makan at Mr Ramen restaurant.. the food there is ok but the service is poor.. cut the whole long story short, my sister was very very angry and them and we cancel one of our food... this not so happy part can ignore.. hehe.. then we walk around the mines to shop.. my sisters are so happy to shop.. eliza and i just not the shopping type.. but i did try some clothes:P then eliza recommended me a clothe which is quite nice but very expensive.. just when i was thinking should i buy or not.. my beloved sister says she is paying for me as my bday present... o.. so touch.. so happy.. jie, u're the best.. my jie, she will always just make me feel so loved.. she knows wat is the best for me, she knows what i am thinking, she knows me just so well... i really love her too:)

we shop till 5pm.. hehe.. here, i would wanna thank Eliza for accompany me throughout the journey.. thanks for accompany me to spent my last day of teenage life today.. she is the only one who ask me today.. though she dunno chinese, dun like shopping, she willingly go to chinese book fair and shopping with me.. im so touched.. so blessed to have her in my life.. i appreciate each moment with her.. i will remember this outing together...:)

eliza and i at ramen shop

come back at 530pm, Rachel bring me to Baskin Robin, leisure mall to eat ICE-CREAM!! yummy.. so nice.. i like chocolate.. i like ice-cream.. is the most delicious and happy moment.. Rachel is my cg leader.. someone i look up to, someone i admire, someone i can trust on.. we have a good time chatting, spending time with each other.. i learn a lot from her.. on top of that, she has encourage me and affirm me through her words.. thanks Rachel... ok.. 7+pm.. eat dinner then is time to pack luggage to the mission trip.. excited and also quite nervous.. hehe.. do pray for me and my team as we minister to the ppl there.. pray for open heart and God's presence to be at the place.. thanks.. ur prayer and support i appreciate it..

EXAM OVER!!!!!!!!!!

Today.. finally… mark the day in history… *drums* my exam is over… I know.. it sounds exaggerating but im so so so happy that it is over.. I also dunno how I got through it for a MONTH!! Staying in hostel the whole day.. eat, sleep, study on bed.. no exercise, no tv, no entertain.. thank God for technology that is laptop and can watch movie and drama.. hehe.. thank God for neighbours.. when I need to release stress, just go out to opposite or neighbour’s room.. ok.. come back.. im so so happy that it is over.. then I happily pack all my things.. 1030am my mom and my brother god father came.. guess wat, my luggage and things and books too many that I barely can enter to the car…

Once come back, unload all things, I went to cheras plaza with esther to meet shean, theng and wan lin to SING K in Neway.. haha.. u see, we straight away release stress once after exam.. we sing from 12pm to 3pm… wow, u never know all of them are good singers.. very nice voice.. 3 hours of singing almost take my voice away..during the 3 hours, we sings a lot of songs.. of course la.. but we sing some of the weird, classic song.. very funny, but is so fun, fun, enjoy… can just dun care and sing our heart out.. and they dedicated 2 songs for me to tease me.. fine.. but I really enjoy the bonding, the time, the laughter, the singing.. I cant wait for the next outing.. hehe… oh.. not forgetting they curi-curi put present in my bag which I only notice it when I was at home.. I like the present very much, is a special bookmark for me..

this is five of us in room 4 neway... hehe

Coming back is very tired, then straight rush to um hospital… Back from hospital, finally im settle in my room.. starting to unpack my stuff.. so many..it took me an hour plus, then wash clothes clear room bath.. after all done, then is time to online dy hehe..

my room can online!! :)

haha.. guess wat, im having my last paper tomolo..by thinking of that, already very happy.. hmmm.. since tomolo exam, y am i so free to blog??? hehe.. finally my hostel now can online in the room in itself( no need purposely bring down the laptop to cafe online which most of the times cant online de ).. somemore very fast.. now only free trial for online for a month.. very syok and can check mail and even msn also can.. ok la.. just to waste time here before continue to study...hehe

my chinese birthday and students' graduation

On the 12^th nov, Wednesday 9pm, suddenly someone knock my room.. I was surprised when Esther bring the bun for me and Theng, Esther, Shean together sing birthday song for me.. until now I was still blur.. I was wondering why, is a bit too early till my birthday then Theng said that day is actually my Chinese birthday.. haha.. even myself I also dunno that is my birthday.. though the ceremony was very simple, just a “cake” with wishes.. but I am very happy and touched that they remember my Chinese birthday and celebrated for me.. this 3 gals is my closest gang in UKM.. I thank God for them…i once said, once u are in the hostel, frens around is like ur family.. im glad that i have them..

this is my birthday "cake"

this is my "family" coursemates in UKM

Friday, 7am, I am forced to wake up but still the sleepiness had make me lie down to bed again:P wat to do.. too tired.. at 730am, my teacher call me and ask me whether I am coming for the graduation day.. oh.. I have to get up dy.. yesterday I was still thinking should I go for this graduation cuz sat morning 830 I have an exam.. somemore that exam is my major subject.. but is my students graduation.. so I decided to go back.. it took me 2 hours to reach there.. when I reach there, I met my students.. it is so exciting, so happy to see them graduate.. farewell to the primary school and march on to the secondary.. some cried.. I recalled, during my time of graduation I didn’t cryJ when I reach there, I know I will never regret going back though tired and long journey.. I met back my teachers there.. I feel so honored to be able to teach there for half a year.. though the time span is short but the teachers there really make me so warmth, so sweet.. they are so friendly, treat me so good.. I miss them so much.. I can feel the love environment there.. thanks to all teachers who has guided me through the half a year.. not forgetting to mention my teacher, that taught me science during year 4 has promoted become vice principal.. congrate to her.. seriously, I really feel the joy when im in the hall, looking the photos they shot for the graduates… the smile on my face is the joy from within.. to all my students, I wish u all all the best in life, gambate.. enjoy and go forward!!

this is one of my class monitor.. Jia Ru

this is another students of mine.. shun yi

our celebration in the hostel and my sister birthday

on the 3rd nov night, around 1140pm, there is a big hoo haa at blok B1 kolej Zaba because............ 13 of us is celebrating nov and dec babies birthday!:) nov and dec babies include yoke luan which exactly fall on that day, yee huai, emily and harn ni and of cuz including me.. we happily celebrate as though tomolo got no exam:P then.. in the midst of it, harn ni suddenly ask jia shi whether she bring out the room key.. jia shi answer was no and harn ni also forget to bring.. that means they are locked outside the room.. by the time we finish celebrating is already 1230am.. the office has closed.. the felos had been asleep and dun wan to choi us.. so we decided to use our way to open.. also cant.. call seniors.. also cant... at then end around 130am, jia shi sleep in sik peng's room while harn ni sleep in yit zhen's room.. poor harn ni cuz next day she still have to sit for the exam.. while they have no keys to go in, all of us standing outside trying to help them solve this problem.. can see the unity and the closeness.. it is no longer them dun have the key, it is all of us problem..i really like such closeness and friendship we develop there...

this is five of the birthday gals...

this is 13 of us all are block B residents in Yit Zhen's room..

this is the evidence that i try to break in to their room:P

this is the picture of us waiting together with them outside of the room..
love that unites us..

coming back on the 5th nov because my one and only sister, Mandy's birthday, celebrating 23th birthday.. no regret coming back because birthday is one of the rare moments where all my family members gather together to sing birthday song and cut the cake.. i really enjoy this moments together.. we chat and talk about the past.. how we behave last time, how we look like last time.. hehe..

this is our 4 siblings..

this is our family photos...

exam final is coming...

i just went back from hospital visiting my cousin.. he is only 17 years old this year and is my uncle's only child..he is now in UM icu.. very critical, having fever now.. whole body was paralyzed, unconscious, surviving with oxygen machine.. feel so heartache to see him.. esp my uncle and aunt.. must be very hard for them.. since 2 years ago, my cousin started to have fever then diagnose to have tb.. then say is not.. something to do with the brain.. then they operate the brain for 8 times just to find out wat happen.. please pray along with us.. i believe prayer is the most practical thing to do now and only God we can trust on.. when we unite in prayer, it reaches God's heart.. thanks for those who concern.. i really appreciate it.. thanks to pastor kelly, florence and my leaders who guide me in this situation..

next tuesday is my final dy. the first year first sem final.. last week is my study week.. instead of staying at my comfort home, i decided to stay at college.. there, i really study cuz nothing to do except eat, sleep, study.. i almost gone crazy ( i feel la..) my hostel is actually a small room and my roommate is not there that few days..so im a alone in the room.. there is this one day, the furthest distance that i go is only the toilet.. o.. my room looks like a psychiatric ward.next time should let you all see my room.:) just small world and myself facing the book.. o.. stress.. im having my breakfast, lunch, dinner in the room.. anyway, it is worth it if i get a good result la:P ok.. done with blogging and check mail.. take a nap then go to youth...