farewell for Esther Chee, Bok Wan and Daniel

today, i went to KL sentral to settle PTPTN stuff ( thanks jie for fetching me there) then from there, i take ktm to UKM station because today we are going to have a farewell party for Esther Chee, Bok Wan and Daniel that they are leaving UKM CLC team..

God is so amazing that i met Siaw wei and Esther Ng at KL sentral that we can together take ktm to UKM station.. hehe.. by then, i wont feel lonely throughout the journey..

farewell.. as a chinese saying.. there are always farewell in life, there will be always an end for a party.. when i heard of these news, i was very surprise.. because i never thought that three of them will be leaving UKM at the same time.. though i seldom spend time with them, but somehow they have make an impact in my life..

Bok Wan - i was with him for the last mission trip.. he is really a nice brother, very detailed, very caring brother.. he took care of me during the mission trip.. he is very sensitive to people's feeling and needs also.. sometimes to me, he seems to have all the good criteria.. will gonna miss him...

Esther Chee - a girl that i salute.. from the first impression till i have chat few times with me.. she is a tough girl, has her own perspective, know what she wants, confidence, observant and ready to give advice to people.. she does it out of love.. and of cuz her laughter.. normally, we can hear her even before seeing her..all the advice she has given me i will keep in my heart.. i feel so touched to have know her, this wonderful sister.. feel so bu she de of her leaving... i still remember during last year birthday, she played guitar for me.. and also i remembered she said that we have something alike.. maybe the way how we deal things.. fast, efficient and effective.. she mentioned that i'm a girl who look tough at outside, seems okay, but deep down in my heart, is very hard to know... hehehe.. i do agree in some part though.. gonna miss her so much here..

Daniel - honestly i hardly spent time with him.. maybe sometimes as we passby one another we will stop and chat for a while.. but i heard alot of stories of him.. he is also one of the nicest brother.. always so caring and patient.. i admire his loves for God that motivates him to love others more..

though really hope that they wont go but i believe God has His own plan for them and for us. i pray that God will continue to use them to bless others and also continue to lead them as their journey goes on. take care brother and sister:)

brother wong.. rest in peace

this morning, i received a message from pei kin, my mission trip leader..

she said that the bro that fetch us from majodi centre to church, the helpful, cheerful and wonderful bro that secretly pays for our dinner throughout the mission trip has been killed, gun shot yesterday.. when i received this sms, i was shocked, stunned for a few minutes.. killed?? i thought we had just spend time with one another just last month...

until now, i couldn't believed it.. i couldn't find the news on internet, and today somehow dun have newspaper that i couldn't find out the details.. life is so fragile.. really... i never thought of it.. the feeling is like one second u are still talking to ur friend and the next second the friend is no longer in the world.. it all happens too fast.. i need time to digest it.. i need time to accept it..

siaw wei said, because life is so uncertain, we should treasure those around us now.. at this moment, dun wait till one day regret.. but how many of us really put into practise of treasure those around us?? sometimes we take things for granted.. actually these phrase has become my notes under my nickname in msn... treasure those around you while you still have them.. i really believe in this, treasure now... live life to the fullness and leaves no regret for tomorrow...

Lord, i pray for this brother's family, may you grand peace and comfort to this family. i believe they are going through a hard time but Lord you are always with them. walk with them and go through this period of time with them. May God you be the master of the house now.. i commit his family unto your hand, in Jesus name i pray, Amen! rest in peace brother...

老朋友聚会

这就是我初中一就认识的朋友: 晖燕,雪芬和婉希, 除了丽敏(一年级就认识了).

昨晚, 我与朋友一班一起去喝茶 整个星期, 这算是我第一次出去.. 我喜欢燕时常说的, 我们这班老朋友... 哈哈.. 我们并不老, 只是她比较'成熟' 长大后, 见面次数少了, 但是感觉好像以前一样 或许在外头, 我们的行事做法都会变了 但是, 当我们这一班聚集在一起 什么的无厘头都出来了 讲话也不正经的 可能这就是所谓一起长大的老朋友 一起见证大家在这几年的蜕变 一起嘲笑当年所做的蠢事 哈哈..童年趣事... 很喜欢与这班朋友轻松的交谈 没有压力, 没有利益冲突 很享受整个聚会

being the middle child

today i read from newspaper, stating your position among siblings will actually bring an effect to your personality. i personally really agree to that. in my first year psychology major, under personality subject. there is once a psychologist name Alfred Adler also state the difference personality based on your position among siblings.

from the newspaper, it is written: being the second or the middle child

• being the middle child, they dun have the expectation from parents like the first child nor the pamper love from parents like the youngest child. they faced a complicated relationships between the elder siblings and the younger siblings. these has lead them to 2 different areas

1. they develop the rebellion character, hoping to get parents attention
2. they have been trained to have a better relationship with others and able to adapt environment better because they has been dealing with the elder and younger siblings
3. because they are in the middle, their personality will be more sensitive, easy to have anger and dissatisfaction in the heart.
4. though they feel neglected at home, they are good at interpersonal skills at the outside world.
5. they have more obvious sign of depression

i feel is quite true describing me being the typical second child. as i had mentioned earlier, i suffered from second child syndrome when i was small.. now im getting better but sometimes i do feel it again..i need a lot of assurance from people around... i need to reconfirm my value..is very easy to feel low self esteem again... at times like this, i will start to control and divert my attention to God again.. i believe it is a long process to completely overcome it, but i will persevere through:)

falling sick

it's been a week i disappear from the IT world.. it is because...

i was sick..on saturday, i have high fever, coughing, sore throat, body aching. sound familiar?? Influenza A HINI???!!!
at first i was kinda afraid also.. was very sick for sat and sun.. at night cant sleep because body aching painfully.. have a hard long night.. finally had no choice, have to tell my parents..
on sunday, the fever continue so i went to see doctor. Doctor is just a viral fever and give me some med if it worsen then have to do blood test.
though only four days of falling sick yet it seems so long to me. i self quarantined myself:P just in case anything happen. even my siblings also din come near me that time. it was tiring and suffering. i took leave from my work and just rest sleep at home..

*one thing i want to apologize to my dad. because of my sickness that we didn't celebrate Fathers' day. i didn't do anything for him and yet needed him to take care of me. i feel so sorry and of course always feel so touched for my dad forever care and love. i know he is really worried of me and always come in my room just to check my temperature. dad, i appreciate you and i just want you to know that you are the best daddy in the world and i look up to you so much. you are always someone that is so dear to me, someone that i can count on, someone i know who loves me and accept me just as i'm no matter how i change. dad, you're my superhero...i love you so much.*

anyhow, im recovered now:) thanks for all the concern...after the incident of falling sick, my parents had advice me not to go out esp to public places. i dun hope that they will worry me again so i will choose not to go out to public places..

tomolo is also my last day of work dy.. and next week i have to start prepare for uni reopen stuff.. cant wait to go back uni.. cant wait to stop working also.. hehe..

不公平

有很多事情,
不想,不喜欢, 不要去做
但是
还是要做
人在江湖,身不由己

你们说我可以选择拒绝
可以吗??
往往都是不可以的
因为
有很多要考量,顾虑

我问为什么总是我
为什么不能叫别人去做
这个问题,没有答案

所以,
我不能任性
我要学会顺服,服从

我希望你们
体谅我,
顾虑我的感受,
别因为我从不抗议
而忽略了我的无声抗议

我也会有累的时候
我也会有想放弃的时候
我也会有想发脾气,任性的时候
请容许我
这一刻,就想爆发我的不满(但我不会这样做)
这一刻, 我累了
这一刻,我崩溃了...

Today - Great Example

today we are fortunate to have Ps Serena to share with us. i truly learn a lot..she is a great woman of God. i can often feel her passion through her message.. a firm woman yet gentle and sweet..
she once prophesied to me and i still keep the CD.. i'm still claiming all the promises and prophecies which God has said to me through Ps Serena.

Phil 2:1-11

Attitude determine our altitude

what kind of church is Jesus looking for??

1. vs3,4 - Eradicate (remove/destroy completely) self-centreness:
~ in this passage, look = scrutinize (search carefully) of what others interest are...
~in order to have J.O.Y, you need to set the priority of
Jesus first
Others second
You (me) the last

2. vs 5-8 - Embrace the humility
~true humility is
a) ready to admit own faults, don't make any excuses

b) ready to recognize the strength of others (use mirror and window concept, wrong things happen, look at the mirror, it is my fault, but when good things happen, praise others, the window)

c) ready to submit to the authority (meaning i cannot do what i like)

d) know your place and stay there

~God look us as who we are, our attitude and not our ability

3. Emulate (copy) Jesus Christ (copy His attitude)

a) He thinks of others and not Himself (give up His right)
b) He serves
c) He sacrifices (we love simply because He first loves us)
d) He glorifies God, God exalted Him (there is no crown without sacrifices)

working life

very long time din post up blog.. very busy.. as i told some of you..
im now working.. as what?? admin staff basically.. 9am-5pm..
why work?? i dunno.. dun plan to at first.. is the work find me..

i realise i dun like and cannot take 9-5 work (please God, next time no 9-5 job for me).. too long and too mundane... all i could say is tired.. and tired..and on wednesday i was very very angry because a lady called and scolded me for twice around 1 hour. she scolded me for something i believe that is not my fault at all. i just do what the boss command me to do..she somemore said her husband is a lawyer and wanted to sue me.. i was like -.-''... all kinds of people now in this world.. feel so bad that day...but at the same time, i also learn a lot of things(patient and loving to others) and begin to know and understand my mom a little bit better, honored that she feels proud of me... my mom now is fetching me to work and fetching me back, sometimes even eat lunch with me since the office is near the place i work..

i thank God that wai han is there to accompany me to work if not alone and facing unlovable people will drive me crazy.. thanks ya

a lot of things happen this week from

• monday, we have a upper 6 kensett gathering at Shabu-Shabu 7pm..
• then tues to thurs, my roommate, Alice come and stay overnight at my house.. thanks to my sister that bring her to shop while im working.. luckily managed to go pasar malam with her at least and eat her favourite durian:)
• thurs to sat is eliza staying overnight.. poor her that i was so tired on thurs din chat much and fri she had to acc me to work:P at night did walk the leisure mall pasar malam a while..but sat finally can have the chance to spend time with her shopping and walk around petaling street with wai han
• sat is a day at church.. for youth.. very happy that huey yen can join me in campus youth today then went out yum cha with wan see.. though just a short time, as i said, i enjoy the moment with them
• sun 2:08am still online because i just finish the task given by mom and wanna relax and online for a while.. this is a moment just me and the laptop...

Demands my right in the name of Jesus

something i learn today from Pastor Sylvia Lai

• take my stand & Demands my right in the name of JESUS

• {CHANGE} is the keyword that we should learn throughout our lives.

we need to be always changing in according to God's will

• Learn to trust in the Lord and Rest on Him

• Unless you cast your cares on His feet, only He can cares for you
• if Devil can't steal your jobs, He cannot keep your goods
• if i believe in the favor of the Lord, the favor of God will come upon me tremendously
• if i want God to come true, i need to stand firm in His words

7 steps

1. Run against your enemy with your mouth open wide (Declaring the Word of God)
2. Resist & Deal with fear ( When you allow fear comes in, faith will goes out) (God is always on our side)
   
3. Run at your financial lack (Blessed are those who gives generously)
4. Resist Satanic attack ( We have to declare positive things)
5. Resist all worries in your life
6. Resist & Demands right in the realm of bondage to your flesh ( put away own desire, put in God's desire)
7. Resist & Run against the giant that comes from others for scheming against you (Be a peace maker & not peace lover)

i'm gonna proclaim all these blessings in the name of Jesus, exercise the authority that God has given me and grab hold God's blessings on me. I'm gonna take every step of faith in my life whether small or big:)

为你

我知道你会看我的部落格,
所以,
我选择为你写这个部落.

跟你出去, 我真的很开心
我喜欢与你单独的时光
与你分享我的喜怒哀乐
在你面前,我总是能做我自己
要笑就笑,
要诉苦就诉苦,
很舒服的感觉
虽然你都不常给回应
但是你是一个很好的聆听者
其实,
我并没有你想象中的坚强
很多时候会在你面前崩溃
只是你并没有发觉而已
这么多年来,
我习惯了有你在身旁的感觉
习惯了每早晚你的讯息
习惯了你给的宠爱
感谢你对我的宠爱,
让我能好好的对你撒娇
你说过,我和你性格真的很不一样
我认同但是我们还是能这么的亲密
这么多年来,你和我都走过
吵架,冷战,很好,很甜的时光
你和我都见证了彼此的成长
看见你的成长
我觉得很开心
也觉得我应该成长
不应该停留在以前的时候
好希望我们俩能到永远

千言万语尽在不言中

千言万语尽在不言中
这句话，我觉得说的好，说的妙

有时，有很多想说
但是，却不知要从何说起
有时，有很多想法
但是，并不知道别人是否真真了解

你说我是一个不擅长把自己内心说出来的人
我说或许是我不擅长表达我的感受
但想想
我会说，能说我的感受
但是就像我所说的
有太多的顾虑
所以，我很感激你们能洞察我的情绪
虽然我并没说出口

沉默
也是一种沟通的方法
它也是一种语言
它带出的意义，往往比说的更有效
沉默时，
你的眼神，肢体动作都能表露出你真正想要的
所以，
有时用沉默来说话吧！！

Genting trip - with secondary group

this is the second time i go out to genting but this time is with my secondary group..
at 7am, we depart from house to the Pasarakyat...then we take bus up to the cable car there.

we = andrea, deniece, eunice, sow fun, sow ling, jin shyan, wei wei, poh ning, sabrina, jen nie, elroy, eric and jonathan chong.

around 10plus we reach genting and went into the outdoor theme part. the last time i went to outdoor is when i was standard 6 which is 9 years ago. that time i just go into the pirate train but i close my eyes throughout the journey and my fren is screaming beside me.. haha.. sorry fren because i was too scared... this time is a breakthrough to me.. because i managed to play quite a few game there. though at first also scare, but thank you all the girls for encouraging me and accompany me.. hehe.. but space shot still... maybe maybe... one day la.. haha..

really had a great time today... reach home at 7pm.. though just a day trip but have a lot fun and is a good bonding time... :)